


i stop somewhere waiting for you

by zillah37 (visionshadows)



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-03
Updated: 2004-05-03
Packaged: 2017-10-11 12:52:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/visionshadows/pseuds/zillah37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snape ends up at Ron and Hermione's to die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i stop somewhere waiting for you

  
  
  
  
  
  


** i stop somewhere waiting for you  
(song of myself lii)**

By [ zillah](mailto:zillah_37@hotmail.com)

 

 

 

 

Hermione rolled up her sleeves and replaced the silencing spells around the baby's room. Katie still woke up at the slightest sound. She blamed it on the fact that Katie was a war baby, growing in her womb while she fought for the salvation of the wizarding world. Ron said it was just an only child thing.

The door to the guest room was tightly shut, more silencing spells wreathing the entrance. Severus had nightmares and would scream bloody murder for hours. Ron and Katie needed to sleep when they could.

Hermione opened the door and stepped inside, her gaze falling on the frail man in the bed. His unseeing gaze turned towards the doorway. "Harry?"

"No," Hermione said quietly, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She touched Severus's hollow cheek with her palm. "It's Hermione."

Severus brought up a shaking hand and touched her hand. "Yes, it is."

Hermione smiled and tucked his blanket around him carefully. She treated him with gentle reverence when she touched him, trying to make him as comfortable as possible. It wasn't easy. Severus's body was constantly wracked with painful tremors.

"Have you slept recently?"

"Sleep?" Severus coughed painfully. "No."

"How about some more of your potions?" Hermione began to measure out careful portions from the various bottles on the bedside table.

"Bloody awful potions." Severus turned his face into the pillows. "Make me lose my mind."

"It's better than the pain." Hermione wrapped his shaking fingers around the glass, helping him bring it to his lips.

"Says you." Severus winced as he swallowed the thick, white liquid. "You have your mind at the end of the day."

"So do you." Hermione mixed up the next batch of potions and helped him drink that glass as well. "Now, doesn't that feel better?"

Severus's head was already turned away from her, his facial muscles lax. The trembling had slowed and she watched a tear roll down his cheek. Hermione wiped it away with a tissue and leaned in to kiss his forehead.

"Harry?" Severus's words were slurred and he seemed to be concentrating on nothing, "Harry, why are you wearing the red robe?"

Hermione closed her eyes tightly. Right after she administered the potions, Severus would ramble on for awhile before falling asleep. She couldn't make herself leave when it happened.

It was the only link she still had to Harry.

~~

Hermione closed the door to Severus's room. He was asleep finally, his one-sided discussion with Harry about the robe he had chosen to wear ending with no conclusion. She wiped her eyes and leaned against the door.

"Is he dead yet?"

Hermione turned to Ron with a hard glare. "No, he's not. I wish you would stop acting like this."

"A man that I absolutely hate is dying in my guest room and you're letting it happen." Ron's arms were crossed over his chest. "What do you think this is doing to your little girl? Your time is spent nursing that greasy git instead of being with her."

"I take good care of my daughter." Hermione's voice shook. "I am not turning Severus out on his arse when he's dying. We're the closest thing he has to friends, Ron. Everyone deserves to die with a little dignity."

"Not him."

Hermione shook her head, pushing past him. "He was your best friend's lover. Or have you managed to block that fact from your memory?"

"Harry is dead. We don't owe Snape anything."

"Yes." Hermione turned to look at him. "We do."

Ron set his jaw and shook his head once more. Hermione brushed her hair back from her forehead. "Go wake your daughter. It's time for supper."

Ron leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Hermione's forehead. Without another word, he walked into Katie's bedroom. Hermione closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. Part of her hated that she had to fight daily for Severus. She didn't like him any better than Ron did.

But she still loved Harry.

~~

"It's time for supper," Hermione said quietly, stirring the mush in the small brown bowl. She was actually glad that Severus couldn't see what she was feeding him. "You need to eat."

"Where's your baby?" Severus shifted painfully on the bed, his leg jerking. Hermione pressed on his thigh to settle the spasm.

"She's playing with Ron in the yard. Do you want to see her?"

"I doubt your husband will allow that." Severus's voice could still carry the same bite it had years before when he really wanted it to. Now though, defeat coloured the tones. "Give her a kiss from myself and Harry."

"I will." Hermione promised him. "How's about some supper?"

"Is it that same disgusting slop you've been feeding me?"

"I'm afraid so." Hermione tucked a flannel under his chin. "Open up."

"Can't a man have a good steak while he's dying?" Severus grumped, but obligingly opened his mouth.

"You know very well that steak is out of the question." Hermione spooned the mush into his mouth. "This has all of the protein and vitamins you need in a day."

"And it tastes like cardboard."

Hermione snorted and brushed back a bit of her unruly hair with her wrist. Severus's face was turned towards her and she could swear he was looking at her. "Can you see me at all?"

"Just a vague shape in front of me." Severus's arm jerked wildly and he moaned lowly. Hermione set the bowl down and massaged the muscles until they loosened enough for her to fold his arm back by his side.

"Perhaps it is time for more of the potions," Hermione said sadly. She brushed back Severus's hair with her palm. He was sweaty and warm. She did a quick cleaning spell on his body. "Unless you want to ride it out a little longer."

"Harry says I should say thank you for your help." Severus's eyes closed. "I suppose I echo his sentiment."

"Why did you come here?" asked Hermione quietly.

"I had no place else to go." Severus whispered, turning his head away. "And Harry promised me that you would not turn me away."

Hermione mixed the potions in silence, the only sounds Severus's ragged breathing as he struggled with his emotions. She wiped away tears and helped him drink. This time she left before he started talking to Harry.

For once Ron didn't comment on her drawn expression and the mush she washed out in the kitchen sink. He just wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close from behind.

~~

"I can hear him yelling." Severus murmured, his voice low and pained. Hermione had him levitated in the air as she changed the bed. "About me."

"I guess I have to strengthen the silencing charms." Hermione stripped the bed efficiently, tossing the dirty sheets and blankets aside. "He's still angry about Harry's death."

"I tried to save him."

"We know what happened, Severus."

"I loved him." The trembling in his limbs increased as his voice grew stronger. "You have to believe me."

"I believe you." Hermione gently set him back on the bed. "I hear you talk to him all the time. It's obvious that you loved him."

Severus exhaled slowly and allowed her to settle him against the pillows. "Your eyes are very kind, Miss Granger."

"Hermione," she said as her movements faltered. Severus was not looking in her direction, instead staring at the wall again. "I am no longer Miss Granger."

"Weasley then. Still kind."

Hermione's hands trembled as she finished tucking the blankets around his still form. Too still considering he hadn't taken a dose of the potions in almost three hours. He should be shaking like a leaf right now.

"Yes, Harry, I know. I haven't forgotten once since you told me that you like it." Severus's voice shook as he spoke, high and clear. "No, I will not apologize to that bloody werewolf for telling him I was going to spike his Wolfsbane. He deserved it."

Hermione bit back a laughing sob at that. Dying and still as petty as ever. She wondered if Remus knew that a years old argument between Harry and Severus about him was being replayed on Severus's deathbed. She began to mix the potions again.

"Hermione."

Hermione turned back to Severus, whose face was a mask of pain. "Yes?"

"Let me die."

~~

"No one bloody cares that he is dying," Hermione said, her face pressed to Ron's chest. "They know. They have to know that he is here. Not one person who claimed to care for him during the war has come forward to even say goodbye."

Ron rubbed her back as he held her. "What do you say to a man like Snape when he's dying?"

Hermione let out a choked sob. "You tell him that you won't leave him alone. You tell him that he'll be with Harry soon. You tell him whatever you bloody well have to in order to keep him from getting overly upset."

"So you placate him."

Hermione pushed away from him. "Maybe he deserves to be placated for once in his life. Have you ever listened to him when he's talking to Harry?"

"I only go in there when you make me," Ron said honestly. "You know that."

"He loved him so much, Ron. He thinks Harry died because of something he did. He constantly begs Harry not to leave him alone again and that he's sorry for whatever he did wrong. And then sometimes he just talks like Harry is having a conversation with him and he's happy. He's happy."

"Then let him die," Ron said as gently as possible, pulling Hermione towards him again. She went easily, tears running down her drawn face.

"I can't." Hermione clung to him, sobbing softly. "I can't."

~~

Ron watched Katie run around the front room of The Burrow, chasing after one of the many animals that flocked to his parents home. Molly sat on the couch and watched her granddaughter play.

"It's just for a few days," Ron said again. "Hermione needs a break."

"She's always welcome here." Molly turned to look at him. "You look peaked, dear. Have you been eating?"

"Yes, Mum." Ron replied. "We'll come collect her by and by."

Molly frowned. "Am I to assume that the end is near?"

"Quite near."

Molly was quiet for a long time, the only noise Katie's laughter and the squeaks of the kitten she was playing with. Finally she leaned back and rubbed the bridge of her nose, letting out a quiet sigh.

"He was never a nice man, but I am glad that he is not alone right now."

"He let Harry die," Ron said softly. "I am not sorry to see him suffering from what he did."

"Severus Snape was a hero," Molly said to him. "Don't ever take that away from him, Ron. He may not be a nice man, or even someone you want to have as a casual acquaintance, but he was a hero and he did love dear Harry."

"I loved him too. But I didn't turn him over to Voldemort, now did I?"

"He did it on Albus's orders. Harry was fully aware of what was going to happen."

"He wasn't supposed to die, Mum!"

"No one is ever supposed to die," Molly said quietly. "Not even Severus Snape."

"Well he is," Ron stood up defiantly, "Now, I must be going. My wife is a wreck because he's chosen to live out his last days in our guest room."

~~

"Hermione," Ron said quietly from the doorway, "You need to go to bed."

Hermione looked over at him from the armchair next to Severus's bed. "No, it won't be long now. I won't let him be alone when it happens."

"I'll stay with him." Ron walked over to the bed and sat on the arm of the chair, "Please, you need to sleep. You're no good to him like this."

Hermione's eyes filled with tears and she wiped them with the back of her hand, "If he wakes up, give him two ounces of the green potion mixed with a spoonful of the white."

"I will." Ron promised, kissing her forehead. "I'll wake you in a couple of hours."

Hermione let Ron usher her out of the room, shutting the door behind her before going back over to Snape's bed. The man seemed to be asleep. Good. Ron didn't really want to talk to him.

Ron sat in the chair next to the bed and sniffed the sour air and inspected the potions lined up on the bedside table. He didn't recognize most of them but he found the green potion he was supposed to give Snape.

Severus shifted and turned his head towards Ron. "Hermione?"

Ron looked over at him and shook his head. "Not quite."

"Mr. Weasley," said Severus, his voice a pale shade of its former self. "Come to gloat?"

Ron looked at the shaky sneer and the trembling limbs. He could count Snape's ribs beneath his thin shirt. "What for?"

"Sheer joy at seeing someone you hate in pain and near death." Severus paused and looked at the wall. "Hush up, Potter. You know he feels that way."

"Why did you speak to him like that?" Ron blurted out. "If you loved him so much why did you treat him like shit all the time?"

"Affection comes in many forms, Mr. Weasley." Severus let out a deep cough, gasping and twisting on the bed. His claw like hands grasped at the sweat-soaked covers, tearing them in the process.

Ron looked at the bottles, reaching for the green potion. He twisted the top off and just put the bottle to Snape's lips, not even bothering to measure out a dose.

Severus looked at Ron, his chest heaving as he tried to get his breath back. Ron shifted under the sightless gaze, as unnerving as it had been when he was a child.

"You can do what she will not."

"What?"

"She's too careful with the dosage, won't give me enough to let me go once and for all."

Ron looked at the bottles of potions and back at Snape. He didn't feel compassion for the man, couldn't no matter how much pain Snape was in. But Snape was right. Ron could do what Hermione couldn't. Ron could let Snape go.

Snape's leg jerked painfully under the sheet and Ron slowly reached down to press on the clenched muscle, feeling the bone so close to the surface.

"Why did you come here?" asked Ron softly, reaching for the empty water glass. "Why did you come to us to die?"

"Harry," Severus whispered, his head back against the pillow again. "Promised you wouldn't turn me away."

"Before or after he died?"

"Both."

Ron grew quiet, looking at the bottles again. He reached for the blue potion, pouring the contents into the water glass. "Blue and green should do it, right?"

"Please," Severus's hand clenched at the air and Ron took it, holding on tightly. "I can't any longer. Tell her I'm sorry. I need him too much. Need him."

"Okay, Severus," Ron said gently. "I'll tell her."

Ron ignored the tears trickling down Snape's gaunt cheeks. He added all of the green potion to the glass, watching as the colors swirled together. With a gentle hand, he supported Snape's neck and held the glass to his lips. Swallow by painful swallow, the glass was emptied. Ron laid him back against the pillow and took Snape's hand again.

Severus stared at Ron, his unseeing eyes open. "I promised him he would live. Promised him I would find a way to get him back out. I couldn't. I failed him. Voldemort knew. Sorry. So sorry. Loved him."

"Shh." Ron brushed a lock of Snape's limp hair back. "It wasn't your fault. Harry knew what he was going into. He knew you loved him. Just rest."

Snape's eyes flickered shut and Ron kept holding onto his hand, watching as Snape's chest rose and fell with increased slowness. The claw like hand lost its grip, going slack in Ron's own hand. Ron laid the hand down on the bed and fixed Snape's blankets.

When Snape died, Ron was looking out the window at the setting sun.

Hermione screamed when she found out, sliding to the ground and crying in Ron's arms. Ron held her and did his best to comfort her, all the while wondering if Snape was finally with Harry again.

 

 

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